wow....all my rants that involve helping me sleep and clearing my chest of worries involve insulting people. I think I need to seek counseling. If you want a synopsis of what I was going to write...here. 1.skinny people don't like be called skinny or belittled by size as much as slightly overweight people like being called cows and beached whales. 2. Public Affection is going to drive me to kill every teen in the mall, and a few others. 3. I want more babies in my life. 4. pre-missionaries should not be in such a serious relationship that they take couples pictures and/or exchange rings. I'm not talking set camera down and pose, I'm talking photographer.
(number four needs elaboration)Missions make boys men. Boys are not ready for marriage or marriage commitment. Missions, teach future fathers and future husbands traits that make them worthy of the title "Man". I married a man, and I knew it the moment he bore his unshakable testimony to me. Testimonies make men amazing. It's impossible to ask a boy, or young man, to devote himself fully to God for two years...but still think of you often and fondly, and write and continue to devote a good portion of his heart to their one true love and soulmate. I wasn't the best in math, but it doesn't take a genius intellect to know you can't fraction something into two complete wholes. It's still not full in one or the other. Half empty in every aspect. Why would prophets command young me to put his divine work before marriage or serious dating if it wasn't directly related to your eternal salvation. In other news...DOUG IS GOING TO PERU! I'm totally stoked for you, and when you get back to Texas in two or so years you should call me and talk Peruvian to me so I can hear what it sounds like. I'm sorry if you feel offended (anyone I know and love), but if you were an alcoholic and I bashed alcohol (I have other metaphors on record if you so wish)...I wouldn't apologize for it. And honestly that's a much nicer paragraph than prophets have spoken of on the subject, so I don't feel bad.
I guess I can talk about the baby thing. I desire a child soo badly. I know it's personal to talk about trying for babies, and sometimes wanting/planning one. But if I'm pregnant, public will not be informed. I didn't mind everyone knowing we lost the baby, I minded the never ending sympathy and the pain it caused others to think there was a remote chance they hurt my feelings. Call me the ice queen, but with God all suffering can be avoided. I'm not acting strong, I'm acting on my strength. Wow, that's a really good line. That is sooo going to go on someone's quote wall and I want full credit for that. I just made that up. I'm not acting strong, I'm acting on my strength. You could even interchange words. Like I'm not acting faithful, I'm acting on my faith. Love works too. I'm not acting kind, I'm acting on my love. OH MAN! I could write a book about those sentences. I just realized how egotistical that just sounded, but it totally surprised me as I typed it.
Anyways, the miscarriage is on my mind a lot. But not in the way most would think. I'm not mourning, I'm just anxious for the chance to get that happiness again. My only experience with that is brief, and it's all I'll have as reference when we're blessed again. I don't want people to cry for me, I want them to cry with me. And since I'm not crying, You wipe those sissy tears up SOLDIER!
I'm done now. Maybe now I can sleep. I'm looking forward to waking up in five and a half hours to enjoy breakfast with Travis. I plan on staying madly in love with him.
-Heather Rand Meredith
I agree with young men not being in a serious relationship before their missions. I know people in my life who have had serious relationships before their mission, and it has either ruined part of their mission or made it so they never even went.
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