What do cute young Cockatiels, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and zombies have in common? Apparently my mind was trying to figure that out before it decided to wake me this morning at a ripe hour of five. Usually my dreams are a source of happiness or inspirations. I love my dreams...but last night I had a nightmare. As with all nightmares it was gripping and suspenseful, but what I hate most about my nightmares is the nagging fear behind everything. I would die of a coronary if I lived in a world that you could never relax in. It's almost beside the point that zombies freak me out more than any other dumb idea people have come up with. Whether it be "Night of the Living Dead" or African tribes that invented the idea of living dead flesh eaters, but whoever it was needs a swift kick in the face! The last rated R movie I watched, which was still in theaters at the time, was Zombieland. Even though the crowd I was with, I won't mention any names, thought the spoof and overkill of gore was hilarious I was thoroughly scared. I think it's the idea that the Plan of Salvation somehow goes awry or God contradicts himself, which is completely ridiculous. It's not just the fact that someone wants to eat me. It's the dead part that gets me.
It all started when my parents entrusted Bradley to take me to a movie with him and his loser friends. I use the term loser semi-kindly in this circumstance. Since he doesn't hang out with them much anymore I'm sure I could officially deem them losers, but I won't do so out of the kindness of my heart. Back to the story, if I recall (details are kinda hazy), the parents I belong to wanted to see a movie that I would find boring or inappropriate. Bradley and his troupe were put in charge of me to take me to see Scooby-Doo. Instead of doing the nice thing though, like LOSERS, they decided to take me to see Dawn of the Dead. Most of the movie was spent with my head burrowed in the seat. I remember the beginning, a few parts in the middle, and the end. Not much of an ending in my opinion. Bradley was a nice brother and I knew he'd get in trouble if I said anything. I didn't offer up any details about Scooby and his latest adventure, and my parents didn't ask I suppose. I had nightmares for about three months(it was probably only a week or so), and I would cry at the thought of my mom turning off my bedroom lamp. My parents were baffled as to why I was having nightmares every single night consistently. At some point my mom pressured me into revealing that Bradley took me to see a bad movie. I begged her not to punish him. I remember her lecturing him and making him apologize, I think she even dragged him out of bed to make him see how upset this movie made me. It took a while to get over it and I usually laugh at the thought, but in my dreams they're the worst concept ever.
My zombie craze has subsided thus far, but I want to punch the staff at the local library. I was looking for Hunger Games because it was a big deal and I wanted to see what it was all about. When I went to the Loveland library to find it, I learned it was out and I would become part of a long waiting list. Never again will I ask for advice on books from strangers. I wanted an appropriate, clean, good book. She thought I was looking for a post-apocalyptic book. Needless to say "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" is not about a scary forest. That's right my dear friends, idiots write about zombies. WRITE! It's bad enough they plague movies. If the book had a happy ending of some kind I'd still not recommend it, but it did not. I skipped a lot, and I hated the main character. It's one thing for a character to not know what they want, but this girl seriously had no earthly idea what she wanted out of her pointless zombie fearing life. First she wanted this, then for a brief second was happy with what she had, then she started wanting something else. It was ridiculous. And they made a sequel! With the main characters indecisive daughter. Go figure. I only read the end of that one. I was in Sterling, Colorado for two days with Travis so I had nothing better to do than kinda read two 800+ page zombie lore. He used to work for Hostess as a relief driver so he would sometimes have to travel. It was fun though, and I learned how to entertain myself in a hotel. First you wake up too early for the free breakfast, watch the Today show, take nap. By the time I was an hour into reading Travis would show up, so it wasn't too difficult to amuse myself. Million dollar advice I tell you.
Hope you were amused dear friend,
-You know who
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